Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
