I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
