There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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