What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
