And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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