Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
