Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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