Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
