I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do vagina's smell?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
