she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize