VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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