i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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