Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
