I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
