1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
