My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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