You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
