member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
