Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize