did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
