If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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