whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize