he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I want to fling myself into the sun
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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