If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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