just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The feeling are messing with the penis
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The adults are the big ones right?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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