I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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