Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
