The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
