new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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