Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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