did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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