take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
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When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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