the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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