My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
