I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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