Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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