I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
