i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
