Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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