There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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