oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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