God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
