is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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