Buhtt sex?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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