what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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