I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
