i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
