i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
