Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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