If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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