chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
