Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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