sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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