I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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