I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize