I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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