I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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