I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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