I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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